Memories... Some never fade..

I wake up early.. a lot.. mostly when I wake I check the daily news, see whose dumped who on the daily book of faces.. then go and get tea!
On the "book of faces" there's a thing that pops up and it's a selection of memories that Facebook think you want to remember. I normally shift through them and smile as they are mostly to do with the kiddies.. A couple of times there have been ones that have made me reminisce.

It is funny as time goes on. I was promised the earth, moon and stars. I was told that no matter what, I would never be alone. Why do people make promises they cannot keep? I don't want to sound bitter, but we don't even talk any more. Even to this day I have no idea what and why. I was told I was not hated, but yet I do not even get a "hello" any more.

I have so many things I want to say too you. I have so many unanswered things I want to know. The tears don't come as often now, but sometimes they are there. I picture us sometimes, running after the bus.. getting lost in the Hedge Maze..I think of us doing things now.. as we can both drive maybe debating over who is going to drive to dinner. I often find myself wondering what you are doing. I wish this would pass..

The children have gotten older. I thought that this would be our time, smh I always make the wrong choices it seems and have a trust when I am told everything will be alright.

I have gone "back" to religion. I have decided that it is the only "safe" place to be. If this leaves me alone then so be it.. I have had three relationships in my life, and each has only enforced what I think I already know about men. I am hoping that my sons will never treat a girl the way I have been treated by men. I was hoping that "third time lucky" was going to be that.. little did I know he had other plans. I do miss him.. Que Sera, Sera.

Meanwhile I go on. I have to.. no one to sort out the problems I create for myself.. no one to look out for me.. but me. For now I am happy, just wish that the memories would stay in the dusty mind draw.

Tomorrow is another day.. Look after you! xx 

Blue Monday

Apparently today is supposed to be the most depressing Monday of the year. It's something to do with realising you have spent all your money for Christmas and not being able to keep too your New Years Resolutions (or something along those lines), Well I'm not blue!

Lets see here.. January 2017 and already I have booked a holiday for this year and its paid for... Already started packing as well.. though I do need to buy some new suitcases. I have spoken about the possibility of changing my working hours ever so slightly..seems I am doing to many late's as my little girl is missing me.. And it's only the second week into the new year!

I'm not to sure what too expect of this year.. I have no major plans of yet.. I'm playing with the idea that maybe I should look into buying a house for myself of sorts...but that is only an idea at this stage.. Maybe after I finished with the car...

So I have launched myself into this year.. New Start New Year sort of thing. I watched the fireworks of Big Ben like I do every year..said my toast to the world.. and kissed my teddy! lol Sad I know.. would be nice to have a companion, but I guess its not that important. One day my "Prince" will come.

For now I leave the new year to play out.. whatever will be will be!

Look after you!! xx