Just another thought...

It's the things that make you go mmmm..

Kisa was a gift to me <3 Thank you for the memories..I also had BooCat adopted for me..Thank you for everything

Sunday, May 06, 2018

What does that make me

Today I just wanted "me" time. I just wanted to sit and not talk too anyone and just think by myself. In this house, that is impossible. With the arrival of my mother, the house seems to be more demanding and I just cannot seem to make everyone happy. This is causing me distress.
I have to entertain mother.. and teenage daughter.. and sons. The children want my attention one way and mother demands it in another... her famous one at the moment is calling me to tell me that the commode is full when really it isn't. To try and get my attention she will send me useless links to my phone.. and on a "good" day (which was today) that means I get a link to something I don't very much care about every flaming minute. I knew this would not be easy.. but this just seems impossible. I am exhausted. Now I wish there was someone here for me. 

Sunday, April 15, 2018

Helloooo again

The last post I wrote was back in November 2017.. It's been a while.

So there must be things to tell right..?!

My car got crashed into... my little Clive Car is going to cost £2,500 to get fixed. Insurance is a good thing... wish everyone had it. I decided to get him a general fix up all over... wax and polish so to speak.

My mother has chosen to live with us again. This time she is a lot more jitterish and ill.. sad state really but hopefully her last days will be filled with happiness for her. That is the idea anyway. I must admit though I am finding it hard on myself... with work and a house full of teenagers, it is a bit of a strain having an ill parent to attend to. I am sure things will settle though.

My eldest son is also living here again. I had to go and bring him home after his relationship appeared to break down. His Fiancee began acting in ways he couldn't understand and it was getting difficult to watch. Neither one of them were accepting the relationship was over and so were tearing each other apart. The thing is now she has become very bitter and is refusing access to the daughter by claiming that she is scared. I am hoping that she comes around soon and realises what she is doing isn't right

Mr America started talking to me again. Was strange at first, but I have grown used to being in strange scenarios. He keeps in contact.

I am booking to go on holiday with the girls next year. We are off to Greece. Not sure whereabouts as yet.. and really not sure how it will work with my mother being here, I am sure though things will fall into place.

And me? Work, Work and no playtime. I get up shattered and go to bed exhausted. But keeping busy seems to keep me out of trouble. There's no one on my romantic front, honestly, I don't think I would have time at the minute. But maybe eventually I would find the time.

For now, I have to get the Sunday roast on the go... so off I pop.

Have a great weekend! 

Saturday, November 11, 2017

Is it just me?

I miss our adventures. I miss the surprises that involved throwing on clothes and going somewhere.. if only to walk over the park.. I miss them. I smile fondly when I remember running for a bus that was about to leave the stop and holding it up as we needed that bus too get somewhere.. I must have been nuts running in front of a London Bus.. but hey that's just how it goes!
I still look around the area sometimes, I am looking for the tie that got lost when we were going to the bus stop. You fell ill and I was wondering if we should have gone to the hospital instead.. you said no and continued on the journey you had planned. Or thinking about the time we went up to Bath. You wanted to try the "cleansing" waters.. you got ill!! I am so glad I didn't drink them... But do you remember I touched that shed wall to see if the sign "wet paint" meant that... my hand was covered in brown paint for the rest of the afternoon! Or the creepy hedge maze we got lost in.. holding up the coach cause we couldn't get out!
All these and more.. bring a smile to my face.. It was seven years ago this month that I took that trip out. Broadway shows.. Empire State Building.. Grand Central Station.. to name a few. Again I smile. I don't cry hardly anymore. But there are still things I do not understand.  Who knows.. maybe one day.
For now.. Ill sit with the memories.. all the memories.. good and though not to many the bad, and I will smile as I do.. 

Monday, November 06, 2017

*blink* and the year has nearly all gone!

Well can you believe that it is November now?

Time seems to be going a lot faster than I remember it as a kid. Going where is what I would like to know!

Had to spend nearly £500 on Clive the Car last month, so that has made things a little bit of a squeeze at the moment. Someone has taken a dislike to him and keeps attacking him.. this time it was his headlight..I got a CCTV in it now so that if anything happens I can hopefully catch who it is. Having the key damage fixed was bad enough, I'm getting rather fed up of it actually.

My eldest and his Mrs are going to fuerteventura next week. I get to babysit.. yay (!) I need an escape I think. Life seems to want too get at me at the moment, and it is doing a very good job!

Was bonfire weekend and the cats were going crazy. BooCat decided that it was time at 1am to do 50 laps up and down the stair case.. much to my annoyance as I am trying to sleep.  As if that wasn't bad enough she ended each run by jumping on me!

The kids in general are doing well. Only got the two youngest at school now. The rest are finding their way in the "big bad world" Try as I might, they don't want to have "mum's knowledge" of things. They would rather find things out for themselves. You live and learn I guess.

With winter nearly upon us out comes all the heavy jumpers and stuff. I am off out and about today, have to get curtain poles for the daughters room. Never ending maintenance in this house.

Anyway that about sums it up. Take care of you. 

Tuesday, October 03, 2017

And I thought that was that..!

Last night a memory thing popped up. Google have started showing pictures of certain dates, similar to Facebook. I understand now why it is best to delete accounts that hold any information on that you don't want to be reminded of. Sometimes I wish I had. Its nice having the reminders I think, but last night for the first time in an age they made me cry.
I cried again over you.
I cried over what was, and what has been. I cried over the memories that are stuck in my head, the messages that, although erased I still remember.
I cannot understand how one minute someone can be loving sweet and kind and the next just switch off and turn cold, even to the point of acting like the other person does not exist. Maybe I am still naive who knows.
I hate to admit it but I do still miss him. And these memory thing, things are not helping.  

Sunday, September 10, 2017

That was brilliant!

So I just got back from a night out. Been a long while since I been out on my own. Hair down and a few shots later and I have danced my legs off!

So Butlins was interesting if somewhat over rated and expensive, if I hadn't of already booked to go again I wouldn't have. I am not a fan, even the kids were saying they missed the caravan holidays. Guess where we will go next year!

I wrote a letter of complaint to the dealers who sold me my car. I am awaiting a reply.. and the water builds up!

So right now I have my tea.. and my eyes are telling me its time to go sleeps.. imma finish my teas first!

On that note!


Sunday, August 06, 2017

I guess you do "hate" me

It's funny the things you notice. Like I noticed that a certain someone unfriended the last "connection" I think we had. I think it is because he has "met" someone new and added her.. just thought it was kinda strange that he took me off but not his "other" ex.. though he did delete all comments on his page which made me chuckle!

I noticed that it's been a while since I have done anything constructive.. I been working me little socks off and not had time to do much anything else. Still I got a break with the kids coming up and then I got a couple of outings I am going on.. so I guess my downtime is coming up.

So update..

My mother looks like she has finally decided to go it alone. Long story short looks like she will be looking for a new house guest in the immediate future.

Son number one got a promotion and now complains that he is at work more often then not..he has to work that one out for himself.. I cant keep running round for him!

Son number four is currently working late shifts and not getting in till at least one am. He says he is enjoying himself which I suppose is something.

Daughter has taken up crafting. She is currently helping out a friend at a handmade jewellery store. Good way for her to make pennies I guess and get some work experience.

Son number five is trying to make himself a car washing business for the summer, just neighbours cars.. but its a start I guess!

That just leaves son numbers two and three.. well they off doing their own things..When the want something I see them.. other than that I get a phone call if I am lucky! They growing I guess.. have to wait till they mature some.

And me? I've planned my cruise. I have put some money down for it.. it is definitely going to happen. I will finish my car payments then I am off. And after that.. I am going to get an "RV" and start touring around!  Life Goals!