Just another thought...

It's the things that make you go mmmm..

Kisa was a gift to me <3 Thank you for the memories..I also had BooCat adopted for me..Thank you for everything

Wednesday, July 19, 2017


So often a DJ will shout this out when he thinks he is playing a good song in the night club.. Had me thinking on the way home the other night...what if we could shout that out and we could rewind our lives?!

What would you change, work out or work on? I know we all have something but was interesting asking myself to rewind.. How far back? Would I really want to relive past hurts, or would they turn out to be something different? Isn't that de je vu?

I read a news story that explained a wife made her husband sleep on the sofa after an argument, to wake up the next morning.. he was dead. Would she want to rewind? Because now she is with his brother... Or the places that are being war torn.. do they want to do that all over again..

Choices are exactly that.. but it would be interesting if we could do a ground hog day! 

Sunday, July 02, 2017

It's July!

So we went away, it was beautiful! We had glorious sunshine all the time we were there and it was a really nice atmosphere. I would go again. My worries about my son not liking the plane were somewhat realised. By the end of the flight he was wanting to get off. I made sure that he was asleep for the journey home. When we came home however the bad news started! My car got smashed up, and though it's all fixed now I have yet to find out who did it.
Life is plodding along at the moment. I am trying to book a holiday for us again, only this time in Butlin's for the summer.
I took the children to Southend and got burnt to a crisp! They enjoyed themselves though.
So that's the update for now.. it's sunday morning and I got to run!

Have a good one xx

Saturday, June 03, 2017

Wow June already

So another month is upon us.

Took the kids to Spain. Must admit it was a good time we had. I was anxious about my son flying, and though he was brave, he would not have been able to take a long flight. After two and half hours he was more than ready too get off the plane. I came back from holiday feeling relaxed. Though I think I should have stayed out there! Since I have come home it has been nothing but bad news. My car got smashed up, a close friend has died, some kid that my kids know through school decided to commit suicide (he was 15).. the list goes on. But hey tomorrow is another day right?

So today I am off to get my car. The poor thing has been in and out the garage more times than I care to mention.. and I have yet to do any damage myself! But as my next door neighbour pointed out, at least no one has been hurt and cars can be a financial check. Oh insurance comes up this month and I looked around for a cheaper quote.. my company were not happy but did not match the one I was given.. how lame!

So we are in the middle now of the exams.. my two boys are both revising.. actually together!  Was funny they were both dancing and singing in their bedrooms last night.. guess they got to let off steam somehow!

Things in general are muddling along at a nice pace for now. Son #4 is enjoying his job.. he actually goes without any prompting from me! Son#5 has a weekend job.. hes "saving" for what I dunno.. but hey at least he is on the right track.. I am planning another getaway.. family holiday to beach in summer holidays.. then I am not sure time will tell!

Well that's stuffs for now.. Hope you having fun! 

Friday, May 12, 2017

Quick update

It would be nice... in fact it would be amazing to be with someone. Especially since I have this trip coming up to Barcelona. Would be nice to cuddle up to someone on the sandy shore. But I resigned myself to the fact I am probably going too stay single, a choice of my own doing.

As my children are getting older and becoming more independent, I look at my own future and wonder where to next. The world is my oyster as they say!  I don't want to end up like my mother. Disabled, feeling alone in the world and unable to be as active as she would like. I still have a cruise planned for myself. My friend and I were discussing some places which we would like to visit. Watch out world! I am thinking that I want to get a camper van as well at some point.. travel around this island and see some more of it.. The need to keep busy is very real!

Sunday, May 07, 2017

Say something.

Take me back to the night we met..

Thanks to my son, I been binge watching 13 reasons why.

Wednesday, May 03, 2017

Life Update!

I think that I have finally closed another door on a chapter of my life.

I have a birthday looming, and I'm not really expecting anything to be honest. My eldest son took me to dinner at TGIF's today and told them it was a birthday meal. They presented me with birthday cake and sang a crazy birthday song! Put a smile on my face, I was happy with the balloon!

But yeah back to that chapter of life..I been going to Domestic Violence Support group for a while now. I wanted to understand why I let myself get into what turn into abusive relationships in one way or another. Even when I can't see it, guaranteed I am allowing myself some sort of  "being used". So I got therapy. Turns out that I needed to love myself, my whole being and not just "settle" for someone being nice to me. Easily flattered I think she said. I guess I was as no-one was ever really that nice to me. But now I know I can be a little bit more guarded.

I found space for a box of memories. Am not quite at the stage where I can "dispose" of them. I guess one day I will.. not yet though.. I recently got rid of a big black bag of things.. that was difficult enough. And time moves on...

So Holiday looming, and I have seen a real nice sofa set I am going to be buying when I get back! lol I haven't gone yet but I am planning on what I am doing on the way back! Still keeps my mind off of things I don't want to think about!

I am currently gazing out the window waiting to be able too move my car outside. It is currently parked two streets away, and I lubs my car when I cant see it I worry!

Well that's the update I guess.. I am tired its been a long day so I am going to get tea and a snack and cuddle down and read my book!

Have a good one! 

Sunday, April 23, 2017

To Majerfu.. Thanks for everything.. Aid

I see you around sometimes online. I am very tempted to open a dialog box or message you. "Friends" you said. Friends at least say hello sometimes. You cannot even answer me a simple hello. That is a shame, as I really want to ask you something that is bothering me right now. You see, I have kinda, sorta met someone, and I am really, really scared of getting into any kind of commitment now. I wanted to ask you what I did wrong, so I don't make that mistake again. I'm not sure that I want to be involved with anyone on that level though, but it would be nice too know.. just in case.. you never know, this one might like all my "baggage"

It is kinda painful at this time of the year. Especially when reminders come up. But I guess it is getting easier. No strike that, not easier but somewhat manageable. I long ago packed up most of the reminders that were here, but sometimes a sight, maybe a smell or even just a wander over to the park are like little triggers, and the reminiscing starts.

But life goes on, and sometimes the path is not the one that we thought it was going to be. So let's update. I have three kid things living at home now. Two are going through the last years of secondary school, years nine and ten. My "little" girl towers above me now, she is really tall and at only thirteen, she is going to be quite the lady! My fourteen year old son is currently sitting his exams. On his meds he is doing really well. And my sixteen year old is at college and working. He is saving for a "ped" for himself. My eighteen year old has moved out and gotten himself a job and a place to live. He is doing driving lessons and so keeps hinting that he wants to borrow my car! My eldest two are busy with their families I am glad to say that both are being good dads.

And me? Well it's work work mainly for me. Keep myself busy, and when I get free time I spoil my car!
I fixed my printer all on my own a couple of times, as well as an old laptop that was given to us. So I still have the ability to be technical when I have to be!
Packing for this coming holiday, kinda looking forward to it now. I think the kid things are getting excited as they are actually counting down the time to "take off"

Anyway so I need to sleeps.. you know that thing.. yeah well you know I'm just a box away.