Just another thought...

It's the things that make you go mmmm..

Kisa was a gift to me <3 Thank you for the memories..

Thursday, January 23, 2014

That time of year again.

It's been a while since I wrote anything here. Things in my life have gotten to the point of being totally hectic. I work constantly, and it seems I have no time for anything anymore. I have my thoughts, but like most peoples, they are in my head, and I have only either to forget them or think endlessly on them. I finally seem to be a "normal" person in that respect.



The boyfriend flies over again next week. I should be happy, excited, full of gladness. But, something is missing, and after all this time I still don't know what that is.

My children are mini adults now, well most of them. The two oldest boys have gotten themselves into work, making them "presentable" future adults and making up the workforce. Doesn't seem to long ago that they were in school worrying about the impending doom of the exams, like son number 3.

Turning cold here again, time to find the winter woollies. And time goes on...

Thursday, October 31, 2013

I guess I expect to much..

Been a busy time here in my household. The eldest and wife have finally moved out.. I have taken on the task of trying to organize the remains of the house into living quarters for all. In between going to work and sorting out all the other stuff I seem to have too deal with, there hasn't been alot of me time.

Which brings me onto a point, the BF is studying hard at the moment, and so we are not spending as much time together as maybe we should..so this evening I was all looking forward to his return, thinking that we would at least do something together.. but to ease his stress he goes off.. alone.. to do his own thing. Now he isn't grand at multi tasking either so trying to talk too him is somewhat impossible..

Leaves me to think that 1) I must be selfish 2) somewhere I must have gotten spoilt to expect too be able to spend time with someone that I am supposed to be in a relationship with.

I am never going to get this down am I? 

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Haven again!

So I decided to book a holiday break away with the kiddies to Combe Haven. The last time we went there, we were there with the children s father, and I just wanted to come home. This time it is only for the August bank holiday weekend, its booked and train tickets and all paid for. I am hoping it will be fun! I know the kids are looking forward to it. =) Finally feel as if I have done something right!

Not much else to report really.. we are literally cooking in the summer heat.. and it is a nightmare in my office... boss is to tight to get air conditioner.. so we have a nice fan that blows around hot air.. you can imagine how that makes me feel.. bored no one to talk too and hot as hell wanting to sleep... blah..

Got plumber coming tomorrow to fit new taps in bathroom.. also got builders in to do an asbestos check.. busy day in the morning.. My eldest and his family will be leaving soon.. they slowly moving their things into their new house. =)

Me.. I am just plodding on as usual =) Cooking dinner.. bye for now! 

Friday, June 07, 2013

A moment in time..

I had a playback moment tonight.
It's amazing what a glass of wine, time and tiredness can do. I hate to say it but the boyfriend has been trying his hardest to get my attention...I just ain't been to the computer to socialize until now. But anyway back to the "moment"..
Sitting blasting music out.. its Friday night after all.. and I want to party before I go completely crazy, and a song comes on from a long time ago.. one in fact that I thought that I had taken off of my computer. Not because I don't like it, but because it makes these memories come back to me. Anyway it starts playing, I start to listen, then realize, I am still pining over someone who just used me to fill a gap in his life there at the time.  And in the meantime, that fairy tale has ended. I have another chapter of my life and I am not writing that straight at the moment. I could end up being the princess just like I want to be.. but I am not even giving him the chance to show me this. Does this mean that I have finally "woken up"?

Saturday, April 06, 2013

What a dull spring..

Its April, and we have snow.. well today was bright but it's still as cold as anything.
It's the weekend currently, the 4 youngest kids are with the sperm donor, the eldest and his wife to be are in their room having taken the baby to the other grandparents for a while. And son number 2 has just left to go too his girlfriends. I want to go out myself, but I feel just too tired.
The boyfriend and his family took a road trip at the beginning of the week, and ended up staying in South Carolina. He sent pictures yesterday of a beach near him.. it looks as cloudy as being here! Never thought I would say this, but I miss his presence, not that I see much of him now anyway, and when I do its mainly just as I go to sleep.
Work...hmm seems to be all I have time for currently..and not cause I want to either.
Baby son is really proud of himself at the moment. He learned to play Fur Elise on the piano. Now guess what he wants in the house? I guess I might look out for a keyboard for him.
Not much else to say too be honest.. tired as all lately.. need a holiday.. my mate just flew to Florida with her boys.. wish I could jet off.. .blah..

So for now take care.. x

Monday, March 25, 2013

I feel like a hamster...

You know... the little hamster that goes around and around in his little wheel thing.. I often watched my brothers ones when I was at home wondering how they could be so dumb as to actually think that they were going somewhere.
That is exactly how I feel right now.
My life is just going around and around..or rather I am going round and round... I sleep.. wake up..pack lunches.. rush the kids out the house to school.. work..work..work... more work... long, long day because the job is just so boring...run to the shop.. pick up dinner... run up to the school... pick up kids.. get home.. cook dinner.. rush kids in bath..wash dishes.. load laundry.. rush kids to bed.. pass out.. and rinse and repeat the next day. I have no me time to do anything.. and then when I do..the boyfriend is complaining I never have time for him.. *sigh*
I currently hate my life..
My son's performance was brilliant. Was a really good night out.  Made me proud watching him, and I really think that he has found something that will keep his attention for longer than five minutes!
The eldest is getting all excited about the imminent move, he is already planning on what furniture and things he is going to be getting.
I been surprised by the second son. He has actually "stuck" at school. (Uni) He was sounding off about all the homework he has to do, but at the moment he is handling it..hope he keeps it up.
So we are all off either this week end or next to the circus. I seem too remember some previous trips that were quite disappointing actually, so hoping that I wont be wasting money.
Other than the hamster feeling, I think my spirits are ok. Not had many arguments with the Ex helps, he seems to have decided that he is going to try and be "nice" for a change.. we will see.. Haven't had much time for anything so haven't really been anywhere to let my hair down. I don't even get a holiday to look forward too, as I haven't been in the job long enough... and guess what Monday is bank holiday and I still have to go in :( My friend is taking her kids to Florida next week.. lucky them! Maybe I should pull sick.. hmmm now there's a thought..

Anyway I need to relax so going too go crash.. take care of you..

Friday, February 22, 2013


I got woken up at this mad time for a song dedication!