Time heals?

Aint it funny how things go?
When feelings are present that you cannot show.
Where theres a love, so true, thats deep inside,
but all that love you have to hide.

And talking to that one you love,
the one that fits your hand like a glove,
brings no relief, just more pain and grief,
and feelings of whats meant to be.

I'm sometimes left thinking "oh well" and wishing he would "go to hell"
but then he says hello again,
and no matter what he's still a friend.

But thats all he will ever be, even though it feels like he's the missing part of me.

Comments on another year.

So it's nearly the end of January already. The start of another new year. I must say that this month went exceptionally fast.

Things that are "report" worthy:

Eldest son gets to view his first ever place next week. After living the past two years in a bed sit, temp place, my boy has finally been given the chance to go view a property that he will be able too call his home. He has gotten himself in college, and works for a chicken company (Nando's) when he's not at college. He is a busy lad. I'm proud of him.

Second eldest son has finally learned the "value" of money. He has been working on a paper-round for the past year. Being one that would take his "pay" and spend it on a varied number of confectionary, he decided that he wanted too buy something more "useful". This turned out to be an X-box 360.. but even so, he saved up for it and brought it with his own money.

Children 3-4-5 are all doing well (I hate giving them "numbers" but it makes it easier for people following this to know who I am talking about) at school and in general.

And, my little girl finally grew "up". She started school properly this month. No more nursery. She is finding the change between nursery and school enjoyable. Luckily the nursery was part of the school, so she was already familiar with thier routines and such. Alot of her friends moved up with her as well, which has helped her alot.

What about me? I started this year off thinking "here we go again". And as I sit here gazing out the window, nothing feels different. Just another day.
I went to visit my only surviving grandparent a couple of weekends back. I am sorry to say, but I think that she has finally lost her mind. And I mean this literally. I know the death of my grand-dad hit her hard, even though this has now been so many years ago. I guess that shows a deep love and commitment. Something that seems to be lacking so much in this day and age.

I am hoping to myself that I will complete my own college course this year. My tutors have been a real encouragement, while being concerned, and it is nice to know that they are there. Wish I could say that I have good wishes for this year. Unfortunaly I don't at this present time. Just another year, with a different number, stuff still stays the same.

Anyway hope everyone out there is well. Take care. *hugs*