All the single ladies.. put your hands up..!!

I have decided that I am probably better off on my own. I seem to accomplish more, and seems that I am more determined when I have only myself to answer too.

I tend to give my all when I am with someone. I forgo anything that I may have planned, choosing instead to accompany my companion and placing any ideas I might have had on hold.
I am currently single, and in that time I have passed my driving test, renewed my first aid certificate, changed jobs, booked holidays abroad and started a course of studying again. These are things that I probably would not have contemplated to seriously had I have been in a relationship.

My last relationship I have come to realise, was mainly focused on my then partner. I would rush home and practically wait for him to log onto his computer. (Although we were "together" he was in another country, so the internet was our communication tool. For the most part it worked, I guess, but was very draining and tiring. When the time come for him to make a big commitment, he backed out. So I guess that it was all very one sided in the end.) There I would be for most of my time, even sleeping with him on the other end of the screen. When he found out he had an illness, my first response was I needed to be with him. I actually did make plans unbeknown to him, too fly over while he was in hospital, but these fell through as the day I was due over, he was released. I never told him. I didn't want to worry him. Through our relationship there were things I done, but changed at last minute as he had other ideas. At least now if I want to be spontaneous, I only have to reason with myself.
Besides, being in a relationship is to tiring. I thought the idea of someone to join in your adventures with you is supposed too be a good idea. After the previous relationships I have had, I am passing up on this idea. Emotionally tired and wrecked, I don't think I can spend another moment trying to have someone too "fit" with.
Being single around friends who have partners is difficult. Being invited out to dinners and such like and feeling like you are a "third" wheel is somewhat awkward, but it is refreshing being able to hold your head up high and have a laugh.

For now and the foreseeable future, it is just me, myself and I. Yes that thing called love has scared me, scarred me and literally forsaken me. But I am not alone in this journey through life. I have my children, whom throughout my ups and downs have been close to me, I have my friends and I have my job. These things.. will see me travel far.  

Nearly the end of another month!

Summer will soon be upon us. It has been nice and mild of late, makes going into work enjoyable if somewhat annoying with the sun reflecting off of the windows!
So half term starts this week. My #4 son is going on study leave. He will be leaving school and is due to start college in September. I can believe that I only have two school children left.
Still life goes on!
I have all but booked up all of my entitled holidays now. Hoping to take kids away at the end of July, then I have booked off some time in August around their birthdays. I might attempt a drive up to see my mother. That is if they don't go on their adventure holiday again this year. Then I have booked off time towards the end of the year to have grand baby #1 while mum and dad go away for a break.

Been decorating again. Tried to enrol help of #3 son who was not impressed! (But he did help) He broke his wrist again by being mugged =( It is a sad state of affairs when you cannot ride your push bike around without someone trying to take it from you. But I guess that is the world we live in nowadays. No one really cares.

I can't believe we are nearly halfway through the year already. I must be enjoying myself as time never seems to stand still.  I am still living with hurt memories though and I just keep myself busy so I don't have to remember. I am hoping that, one day i will wake up and not have to wonder at all. Anyway until such time I "plod" on. Trying to sort out getting a new car is keeping me occupied at the present. Working out money situations is interesting, as I hate Maths! Still keeps the brain active i suppose!

Ok work wise I am really enjoying what I do. It has made such a difference to my life clearing out the old and brining in the new. The change has worked well for me although the change in pay rate is somewhat annoying. Going from salaried to hourly was a drastic change, but has made things at home so much more smoother. I get to be with the kids more and together we are all more focused.

Anyway talking of home, I got food stuffs to get before I run off to work, so have a good one today in whatever you are doing!!