Just another thought...

It's the things that make you go mmmm..

Kisa was a gift to me <3 Thank you for the memories..I also had BooCat adopted for me..Thank you for everything

Sunday, October 03, 2010

Relationships are confusing.

I am beginning too think that it is probably me.
I am the one responsible for messing up relationships.
Maybe I didn't learn too well from my own parents examples.
At this point in time, I should have stood by my "I am going to remain single" tag.

Why am I being all "emo"? Well let me explain. I met a guy just under a year ago. He is part of my New York trip next month. He began as a friend. Needless too say, over time, things grew. I won't bore everyone by how we met. But I personally did not think anything would come of our friendship at all. But it did.

Now, he is younger than me, and I don't know that he has alot of "liut afe experiences" as such. This causes alot of tension I think. My Ex has become a target by him of his dislike.. And through the arguments, I have just learned too remain silent, and let him "get it out his system". But it makes me feel though I am backing down. If I do speak up however, then an argument will suddenly switch too me defending the ex. I feel like I cannot win.

Today he announced that he no longer "feels ok" with the fact I have children. He feels that I "defend" them to much. So he brings this conversation up with how he think's that their names are "lame". How is a mother supposed too react to that? I left the room. Too return about half hour later and find that he is apparently ignoring me.

I missed him like crazy today. I sat the whole day, just pining away like a love sick teen! But all that was wiped out by a few single words.

He made me a website. Told me how much he loved me on it. He even knew that, (as I like coding and such), I would check the source code of his page, and hid a message in there for me. He said he wanted too spend his life with me.

I can't see a way past the problems that we are currently experiencing to even contemplate a lifetime. I don't know whether too pout, cry or just give up. I read somewhere,

Quote:"A person who truly loves you will never let you go, no matter how hard the situation is"

But what if that choice is between them and your children? Then what? I made the mistake of choosing someone over my kid's before. And he swear's that he isn't like "other guys", but he is sure acting it so far.

I love him, but is love really worth all this hurt? =/