I wish I knew.
I am sitting here at work. I have to much on my mind to really concentrate on the pile of paperwork in front of me. It has been several months now since Mr America called time. I am sitting here reflecting. I have several "suitors" that have made their interests known, but as always I am not interested in them. I just want him. Looking back over our relationship, it seems he didn't want me though. He was a gentleman please don't get me wrong, but everything seemed somewhat shallow. I guess I should have seen it. Separate beds.. telling me that he can't marry me. . Barely any physical contact.. yet everything else he did.. but there was no emotional connection. Why do I get into these situations. . I am in love with someone who clearly doesn't feel the same. I still think that I am never going to get this right. Every one I have fallen for. . Never turns out to be my happy ending. "Sigh" just for once I want my happiness. . Just for once I want to know. .
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