And on and on..

I lost my grandmother in May. She died on the 6th, just a week before my birthday. I was very close to her, though having my own big family meant I couldn't go visit her as much as I would have liked to. She lived to far from me and I am not a legal driver. No excuse I know, but we did keep in contact by telephone, I am going to miss her crazy wisdom. She was my last grandparent. I suddenly felt very alone when I had learned that she had died.
I hope that I will be a good grand parent to my grand children. I have one at the moment and I try to make life as much fun for her as I can, along side my own children.
I am not sure why but loosing my Nan has made me have a good long think about where I am going in life. I am currently in a very strange relationship. They say karma is a b*tch I guess I got bitten! My boyfriend prefers to talk about computer parts, latest tech news or any other thing other than reality. Once upon a time I would have been all enthusiastic, but lately I want support, understanding and just "normality". Yeah I would have had that if I hadn't of acted all dumb and selfish. so currently I am sitting looking at my phone like crazy waiting for a text to at least say "hello".. after not speaking to the boyfriend properly for at least two weeks as the "move" is picking up pace with them all finally going over to California next week. I am not really sure why I do what I do to myself have the time..