Alot in a short space of time.

Hello again.

Well, it has been six months. Can you believe that? The end of the year again nearly. My friend and I have booked ourselves a trip again. This time we are off to Italy.. she wants to see the leaning tower.. Hoping that should be fun, 'cause I sure could do with that at the moment.

My eldest son announced a while back that his fiancée and him are going to have a baby. They found out that it is a girl. They are going to call her Mia. Arrival due about Christmas time. I wasn't exactly overjoyed.. but what can I do? They are doing everything back to front!!!

Son number two has managed to get himself involved with a girl who is five years older than him, and has two young children of her own. Have I messed my "cherubs" up?

The other four are coasting along fine. I find myself having to pay for number three to go too France again next year.. so funds are very tight at the moment. Still no financial or any support from their father.. but come on to be honest, I didn't expect he would anyway.

Mr America and I got together again. But what to say on this? Well he lost my trust to be honest. I find myself constantly questioning what he does, why he does it, what it means and so on. I can't help it, I don't trust him not to hurt me again. So now I keep myself behind my emotional wall. I guess this will eventually drive him away. For this I feel regret. I like him, but now I am not sure that I can return the love.

I am looking to move out of this house. Swap out with someone if I can. There are just to many memories here and I am sick of it. I want to start over, afresh. I want a house that doesn't remind me of a block of flats.

I still live in hope that my "day" will come.

Till next time.