Is it me?

Hello again.

I found myself asking this question out loud today, just to myself.. no-one in particular was around me.

I'm wondering if it really is impossible to find a guy that loves me solely for me. I mean the total unconditional love. I sat thinking exactly what it is I want in a guy. He doesn't have to be rich. He doesn't have too be "model" gorgeous. He just has to love me with all my faults, dote on me like I am his everything. I think that this is to much too ask though.

All through life all we ever want is to be happy. If another person in our lives can be as happy as us and help us to achieve that, then it can go so well. But, in saying that, they should never make you feel that you have to change any aspect of yourself to fit into their ideal. I learned this lesson a while ago. It is a shame that it is not common knowledge for everyone.

I know that I am by far, an easy person to get along with. I do have "issues" and extra baggage, that travels with me. But gain my trust, treat me right and I am the nicest person you could probably meet. (Hope that I am not being to biased here.) I am "suffering" at the moment with extra hormones, so things are probably getting a bit tough on the understanding. But if my guy understood me or even tried to sympathise with me, then I think it wouldn't be so bad. Instead, he chooses to be argumentative. (Or this is how it seems.)

I had a day when I just wanted to be quiet. No particular reason other than I was just tired and wanted to "chill out" a bit. I wasn't very talkative, but I didn't want to seclude myself away. Added to the fact that the hormones were kicking in for that "time of month", so anything said the wrong way was going to be misunderstood. I got the "what's wrong, what have I done" questions for an age. But the answer I was giving was not enough too stop an argument on the basis that I wasn't communicating. I ended up in tears, with a fierce headache and just wanting a large black hole to swallow me up. I had no sleep and was due to be awake in the next hour when he decided that we should "stop fighting" *sigh*

I feel now that I have to try and be on my "best behaviour". I find myself asking that question at the title nearly constantly.. I seem to be going out of my way not to tread on a wrong path.. But I wish someone would tell me if it is really me? Do I expect to much in a guy? Do I need therapy? (which was something I was told in the heat of the moment) Is it to much too want someone to love me, with all my faults, and yet be my everything? Maybe I would be better off single.