I am so giving up on that thing called love.. to much heartbreak for me.

I was having a chat with a friend of mine last night. He told me I need to "aim my expectations high" I thought that was what I did. I'm thinking that maybe I aim them to high, that they can't be reached even when a guy tries. At this point in time, I am just going to resign myself too the fact that there is no one that can match my ideal. I am sat here looking at all the gifts that were showered on me.. Being the person I am, I am debating on whether I send them back. Not out of spite.. I love the things that were brought for me, and at the time the sense in which they were given to me. But merely because the expense of them all. I feel guilty having these things now.

I have not eaten or really slept properly in what feels like an age. I keep trying to "run away" but it isn't working. He keeps ringing me and today I finally broke down. He replied that he knows he is being selfish, and that he is going to give me "space" I wish I understood what goes on inside men's heads.

For a while I guess, I had a taste of happiness again. Now it just feels like it has been ripped away from me. My little girl came into my room and wrapped her arms around me and said "Mummy I have never seen you so sad" she then kept coming in to check on me.

This blog post might be all back to front right now.. it is exactly how I am feeling. I am lost, confused, and hurting. I guess karma is a bitch after all.