It's late!
So it's August. It's the school holidays and we are not going anywhere. I had hoped that we could go on a caravan holiday for a week at least, but that has not turned out to be. I normally get help to go away but this year that help dried up. With the extra thing of having the mother here, it's been impossible to get anything together. My funds seem to diminish the more I look at them.
I am exhausted as I am being torn between my daughter and mother. Daughter accusing the mother of lying.. mother crying saying daughter don't respect her as an elder. Not a position I wish to be in.
Me? well, you can see it been a while since I been here. There is a lot going on but yet I don't seem to have time to note anything. I finish a day and fall into bed. The weather has been cooking here so that has not helped.. wanting sleep on top of this nightmare has not been easy.
I took a walk down memory lane. For old times sake if you must. I dug out some old photos, chat logs, and various momentos. I wish now I never. It has made me feel alone. I have always said I don't need someone by the side of me to get where ever it is I am going. I have always believed in myself. I am beginning to think my own wisdom is somewhat tainted. I looked back over the two guys I got the closest to. One who I never got to meet In Real Life. He was amazing though and I still think about him. That was over eleven years ago. Time moves fast. Haven't heard from him in a long time. I guess he just could not handle it anymore. Guy two, we had what I thought was a really good relationship. We met and it could not have been any more perfect. Well in my eyes obviously. He though had other visions I guess. That is still painful to think about. And although we are somewhat friends he has made me doubt a lot of things.
I have been single now for just over four years. And until now it never bothered me. Well, not in as many words. I should leave the past in the past. But sometimes that creaky door needs to be reclosed.
It is 1:17 am in the morning. I am sitting at my comp pouring out my thoughts. Was a busy day at work so be rights I should be fast asleep.. but I am not. I am going to close and watch the ceiling!
To one and all look after you!
I am exhausted as I am being torn between my daughter and mother. Daughter accusing the mother of lying.. mother crying saying daughter don't respect her as an elder. Not a position I wish to be in.
Me? well, you can see it been a while since I been here. There is a lot going on but yet I don't seem to have time to note anything. I finish a day and fall into bed. The weather has been cooking here so that has not helped.. wanting sleep on top of this nightmare has not been easy.
I took a walk down memory lane. For old times sake if you must. I dug out some old photos, chat logs, and various momentos. I wish now I never. It has made me feel alone. I have always said I don't need someone by the side of me to get where ever it is I am going. I have always believed in myself. I am beginning to think my own wisdom is somewhat tainted. I looked back over the two guys I got the closest to. One who I never got to meet In Real Life. He was amazing though and I still think about him. That was over eleven years ago. Time moves fast. Haven't heard from him in a long time. I guess he just could not handle it anymore. Guy two, we had what I thought was a really good relationship. We met and it could not have been any more perfect. Well in my eyes obviously. He though had other visions I guess. That is still painful to think about. And although we are somewhat friends he has made me doubt a lot of things.
I have been single now for just over four years. And until now it never bothered me. Well, not in as many words. I should leave the past in the past. But sometimes that creaky door needs to be reclosed.
It is 1:17 am in the morning. I am sitting at my comp pouring out my thoughts. Was a busy day at work so be rights I should be fast asleep.. but I am not. I am going to close and watch the ceiling!
To one and all look after you!
posted by Aiders or Aider1st @ 1:19 am
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