So my divorce was heard on the 15th of April. I received the official letter a couple of days ago. The thing is, I don't feel any different.

I put this down to a couple of things. One being the fact that he still lives here, and so I can't do the things I want to, too make the changes I need. And two, I have had so long to "get used" too the idea that I think the grieving process has past. I just want to breathe a sigh of relief now, and get on with the reorganising of my house. I have nearly 6 years of "clearing up and out" too be getting on with.

Had to take my son too a course that he wanted to start today. It's a motor mechanic's course. With the understanding that he "fixes" up his behaviour and attitude, he has been granted a scolarship. It was semi difficult filling in the forms. Not that I can't fill them in, just, I didn't know what to put for things such as "Name of the primary carer" "Who to contact in an emergency". You see when his father finally moves out, he wants too go and live with him. I am all for this, he seems to be hating on me anyway. But simple form filling is getting complicated. Then it leaves me to explain a situation that I myself still don't undersand.

I have tried every "trick" in the book to motivate this man too move out. He simply refuses to "budge". We have a court hearing on the 10th of May. This is going to be an eviction day for him. He knows this, but yet still hasn't even bothered to pack any of his things together. I quote my solicitor here: "...your making life to comfortable for him".

The thing is I am not.

At least I don't think so. I don't cook and run around after him anymore. I admit that at times I have made him a meal if the kids have had thiers first. This is mainly just to keep the peace..we spent the whole of Friday and Saturday arguing over stupid stuff. I try and stay in my room out of the way.. he just barges in and carries on whatever it is that he has "gotten into his head".

I want to move on. I want too be able to wake up in the morning, without the thought that he is just going to walk in the bathroom while I am in there. I want my living room back, and to sort out the kids bedrooms.. What I don't want anymore is him.. here.. in the house not doing anything but take up chair space.

I think that it is terrible that our government will rehouse any and every immigrant that arrives here. Kit out thier houses with all the latest stuff and give them all the neccessary things they need to survive, but yet they neglect those that are already here.

No offense.

I don't have anything aganist immigrants or people who have a genuine need. I just think that right now I have had to endure a 2 year divorce, living in the same house with the man that I want OUT of my life. And it's totally unfair to see a man and a woman move into a 2 bedroomed new house down the road.

I just want an end, so I can have a new begining.