This weekend was a long one. Now I am left not knowing what to do. I hate feeling this way. Let me explain.

My children usually see their father at the weekend. It is a rare thing if they don't go to his house. Usually means that he is working, or I have other plans. So far, it seemed to have worked well. I get frustrated at him though, if I have a punishment in place for the kids, (ie no computer games) he dosn't want to carry it through. "I forgot" is the usual excuse.

So this weekend, I told the kids they can't go to their dad' house. I have alot of things I need to be getting on with before the holiday season, and to be honest, I don't need the unreliability of thier dad to add too my stress. At first he agreed. Said he would like the break. All was going "swimmingly" until Friday evening.

He finished work and gave me a call. Said he wanted to come over, to "see the kids".
Now I personally think that he got "wind" of the fact that I had a few friends over..that usually means "free food". (Yes he really is that shallow)

He turned up after he finished work, and headed straight to my kitchen. Then he came into my living room and said was it alright for him to have something too eat. So he ate till he was full. In all this time, the kids were trying to talk too him. He wasn't paying much attention to them, as usual. Anyway when he had eaten, the kids disappeared upstairs, he joined me and my friends in my living room again. Then he disappeared upstairs with the kiddies. By now it was getting late, and people were starting to leave.

My eldest two sons were staying with me for the weekend, and so I set about arranging sleeping. Thats when the ex asked could he stay, so he could see the kids in the morning. Reluctantly I agreed that he could sleep on the bed/settee in the playroom. All was fine. Everyone full and contented went to sleep.

I was awoken to the kids running up and down the stairs the next morning. I asked what was going on. My 11 year old replied he was "making dad some breakfast" I laid and listen to the "orders" that the ex was giving my son.

"Make me a hot chocolate with all milk"
"I want two toast, done properly with butter"
"Make sure you bring them up here while they are hot"

So it carried on. My eldest son and I were sleeping in the living room. He remarked "mum even I don't use all the milk" I was getting frustrated. I think my son picked up on that. I just turned to him and said "be paitent, he is leaving soon"

Time goes on and its afternoon now. The kids get dressed and come and tell me that dad is taking them to the park. He comes down and waits for them to put on their coats and stuff. He is standing in the passageway, just outside my living room door. My eldest son was in the next room, on the phone to his girlfriend. When he had finished his call, he tried to come back into the living room. My ex was still standing in the way of the door. My son asked him politely if he could get passed. The ex pretended that he didnt hear him. My son asked again. He was still being ignored. So then my son tried to squeeze passed him. That is when trouble began.

All hell broke loose. My ex started pushing my son around. My son and him ended up fighting. The "babies" witnessed this. I was not fast enough to prevent it happening, but managed to get in between them both. In the meantime my 15 year old was also trying to break them up. I pulled him off and told him to wait in the kitchen. Then I managed to get my other son off my ex, and forced my ex out the street door. My son was angry and upset, and continued the arguement through the living room window.. If I didn't have my television there, I think my son would have jumped through and continued the fight.

My 15 year old as well as my other children, were all shaken. All the little ones could say was "is dad still taking us to the park?" I waited a bit, and asked the bigger ones to take the smaller ones over to the park, so everyone could calm down. I think the ex went back to his house.

I am nursing some bruised shoulders and a rather nice coloured bruise on my chest.

My 15 year old stayed the weekend, and feels a little bit aprehensive about going home to face his father. In his anger my eldest said some "home truths" to the ex, and this included somethings that his brother had told him. I have always said if the ex starts he is welcome to come here.

But that leaves me not knowing what to do for the best. Obviously I will not have him come and stay anymore. And my children will always come first. But I am stuck in the middle it seems. My kids obviously want to see their dad, but I dont want him near me. My eldest is old enough to decide for himself. And while he is still in my house that means I have a duty to protect him.
So where do I go from here? ~sigh~

Till next time..